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View Full Version : What's Normal Anyway?


momofthree
05-17-2005, 03:20 PM
Dear Ladies,

While walking (or strolling I should say) last night, I found myself wondering, "what is normal?" It is so bizarre to go from 9 months of pregnancy into this type of illness and then recovery. I mean, my goodness, I could not remember not breathing hard once I got so BIG and round belly while pregnant. At 5 months people were like "OH MY GOSH" and I remember getting winded but still being able to walk and carry on. Now I get a stopped up nose and start having to breathe through my mouth and it is now "Is this SOB?" or am I just stoppy or what? I mean, every single time I walk up the stairs I strive to remember if I ever took a deep breath before. I cannot remember. I remember being able to run and lovin' it. I remember being tired, but was it THIS kind of tired? Sometimes I know my meds/blood pressure are nagging me because I feel so out of it. I cannot remember how everything is supposed to "feel" and I try not to let it bother me too much. Frequently I ask my husband, "Do you feel your heart if you do this? Does you pulse ever do this? Do you breathe like this when you do this?" He is so kind to answer and encourage me. I was so stunned to find out that everyone can feel their pulse if they do certain things,,,meaning their jugular pulse over their shoulder blades. For a long time I thought I was just having it because I was sick. Mine was so bad you could see my pulse in my neck for months. Anyhoo, I could ramble on and on. The point is, I struggle to remember how it used to be or should be. Anyone else experienced this? Most often, I am fine and I learn that what is affecting me is true for the norm. But sometimes I know that it is a result of PPCM or meds. I try not to go too deep in my thoughts or I would go bonkers.

Again, walking this through to recovery!
Alison

Yvonne
05-17-2005, 04:14 PM
Hi Alison,
I'm glad you posted this thread. I did (and do) struggle with this. In the first place I felt really betrayed by my body. Before PPCM I thought I knew my body quite well. Now I often don't understand what's going on and try (and don't succeed) to explain everything. I'm measuring my pulse quite often, but don't know what is normal, or what it was before, so often I'm only measuring my anxiety.

Cardiac rehab gave my some guidelines. I learned what my cardiac trainingsrange was and what was too much. So in the beginning I wore often a heartratemonitor, to check what I was doing and feeling. Now I only use it with serious training and even then I feel what my monitor says. So it is trial and error and it sounds like you're trying to do well. But it still is difficult. It is like you said, you have to walk this through to recovery!

Funny is, while reading your story, I almost feel how I felt in the beginning, but I also can tell you (after almost one year) it will change in a positive way. In some way it will be easier. So keep going and take care!

Shannonkk
05-17-2005, 06:52 PM
I am also happy you posted this. I thought it maybe was just me wondering what normal used to be. I cathc myself wondering if this was the way I used to feel or if something is wrong or possibly am I just over-reacting!?!??! :confused: It is nice to hear I am not alone...this board is great!

Anny311
05-17-2005, 06:59 PM
I did this for a while too...and in the beginning it wasn't normal. I've never been as tired as I was with a set of preemie twins with colic and reflux while recovering from heart failure and adjusting to meds. It has been over two years now and while I still call the cardiac nurse with questions, I generally feel as good or better than I did before. Maybe it is just the SAHM lifestyle :rolleyes:

Anny311

melissamph
05-17-2005, 07:21 PM
Alison, I remember my first year. Wow! It seems so long ago now. I am nearly 3 yrs out from dx and PPCM only occurs to me when I take my Coreg twice a day and when I come online to see if I can encourage others to know it will be better and you will get better! You are such a sweetheart too! I am praying for clarity and continued faith for your healing! Hugs!

marissar
05-18-2005, 01:50 AM
I used to be an athletic person so when I see others doign what I used to I realize I will never do that again and that's hard to deal with, real hard whenthese people are older than me.

SerenaWelsh
05-18-2005, 07:42 AM
I felt the most like this in the first week between diagnosis and hospitalization.
I realized I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I couldn't figure out if it was always there, or if that's what you hear before you die. And I could feel my pulse in my finger tips pretty much no matter what I touched.
I don't hear or feel those things anymore, so I guess, normal or not, it was passing.