I can not make my husband understand

[brokenheart]

That PPCM is very serious. I posted under relationships earler this week because he is very abusive. It has only been since the begining of Nov when I was diagnossed and he has started to not be so supportive anymore. I still do all the cooking ,cleaning caring for the children, etc He really just goes to work and comes home. I think he thinks I am faking it or somthing. I was told in the er that my ef was 30%. Just recently I had a cardiac cath done and they told my husband and I that my ef had gone up some, but they said they could not go by that because it is two different kinds of test. I think when my husband heard that I was improving he thought I should be cured and ready to get back to life like normal. I am not physcally ready or emontionaly ready for life to go back as nothing has happened, i recently have been having alot of anxiety and a feeling of congestion in my lungs, like my back hurts from my lungs.. kind of the feeling I have when I have a bad cold. I get SOB when going up steps. I also have a pretty nasty cough along with a VERY sticky yellow and brownish phelm. I still have extreme fatiuge, and a short term memory that is really a weird deal. I forget what I am going to say all the time now. Is that the meds?
We recently got into a fight over what to do about work. My cardio doc told me to fill out social security paper work. My hsband inquried yesterday about me going back to my job, I told him that I thought it would most likely not happen... it is too physical. I have to lift up to 70lbs and be on my feet there is NO sitting and I work outdoors all year long also going up and down stairs, and it is very stressful they cut me absolutly NO slack while I was pregnant so much that I had to file an EEO claim and I do not see them doing me any favors because I have a heart condition now. My husband blew up and told me if I dont go back to my job we will loose our house. i seem to carry the intire load in our home and it is wearing on me greatly.

with all that.

1. Does stress and support play a part in recovering?
2.What is the long term outlook & limits for a PPCM patient

[SerenaWelsh]

I can't answer all the doctorly questions you've raised, but I've got a few for you.

Was your husband always unsupportive, or is this a by-product of your diagnosis? Was the majority of caring for your home and family always on your shoulders, or just recently?
If this is a whole new attitude in your husband, you may want to find a way to get him counseling in dealing with the stress of having a sick spouse.
If, however, this has been a long term behavior dating back long before you developed PPCM, I think you need to remove your illness from the equation when figuring out what your next step is, because it's irrelevant.

If he is physically abusive - to you or the children - you need to leave. Quickly. There is no shame in living with your mother, sister, great aunt, or cousin twice removed. A shelter for battered women is a better option than living with violence. Your children don't need to see it, either - and it's still your job to protect their minds and bodies.

My additional questions for you would be:

1. Do stress and support make a difference in how anyone lives their life, regardless of disease?
Answer: YES
2. What are the long term outlook and limits for a woman who is absued by her spouse?
Answer: The outlook is grim and the limits are profound.

[JAMESFETT]

For any PPCM patient the outlook is very good indeed. There is so often healing and recovery; and while that happens there are many treatment methods and tools. Of all the cardiomyopathies (DCM), PPCM is the one with the greatest potential for healing. Take encouragement from that.

The support of those around you is extremely important. Stress can be reduced by the loving support and help of your family and friends. Serena has given you good advice. Above all, find support, be safe, deal with stress. You are now disabled, but you will heal. Prayers and best wishes,

James

[miachic]

I echo what Dr. Fett and Serena have both said.

I also wanted to add something that I've learned through my diagnosis and healing process. I think there is a very big mind-body connection with how your body handles the stress of the diagnosis of PPCM and the recovery period (whether you recover fully or not physically, there is a recovery period whether it's emotionally,mentally, spiritually or physically).

If there are things in your life that are putting mental stress and emotional stress on you, chances are you are not being given the chance to really focus on healing from within, giving yourself a chance to really grieve for your previous health and to set a plan in mind for how you want to tackle this newfound diagnosis and your life as you will know it from now on. It doesn't seem that you are being given the freedom to have your feelings and physical state vaildated and that is probably having an effect on how you are feeling overall.

My advice is a few things. First of all you need to really dig down into what the underlying "problem" might be. If you really do think counseling would work, then I would push for that. Perhaps there are things that you are being shown or called to focus on in your life that need some readjustment or change as well. If these things are taken into consideration and worked on, perhaps it would cause a change in your husband as well.

I went through a grieving process after diagnosis that lasted around 6 months. I wasn't myself and my husband was bothered by how down I was. However, I had to get to the point where I could walk through that grief so that I could get down to the business of healing. I have since gone on to heal physically but also emotionally, spiritually and mentally and feels like I've been given a new lease on life. I have learned so much about myself through this process it's almost scary (hehehe). I feel like a new person, really I do.

Perhaps if your husband won't go to counseling you can find someone to watch the kids for a small amount of time during the week so that YOU yourself can go to counseling or do some self enrichment (take a yoga class or another fun class to get your mind off of life). There are feelings and things that you need to deal with as you go through this PPCM process and if your emotions and thoughts are being suppressed, perhaps some time away from the distractions of life would give you a chance to really reflect what you're going through and how best to deal with it.

I don't know if any of that made sense but I have learned this and continue to learn this every day. If you need to talk, please feel free to PM me. I think there is a strong mind-body connection in learning how to heal even if you don't obtain that physically.

((HUGS)) to you. I hope things start to look up!