Carla

[amyls]

Any News?? I hope you had a good meeting with the Doctor.
amy

[carrob]

Thanks for checking with me. And, yes.....we had a very good appointment. This doc is WONDERFUL ! However, there are so many factors here that we're even more scared. He feels that my heart will do just fine. In fact, he's had several cases where the EF actually increased during the first part of the pg. And, FYI, he's dealt with MANY heart failure/preg cases!!!!! However.....I've had high blood pressure for years! It's all over my family and he's now more concerned about preclampsya setting in and sending my body into a downward spiral. And, being borderline diabetic means taking insulin shots twice a day during the pregnancy. So.....his actual answer was "It's do-able and we can save your life if we have to"......."it won't be an easy road.....but we'll watch you like a hawk".

We also discussed MY future after the delivery.....because he said that pregnancy can take as much as 5 years off of your heart. And, that could cause complications down the road. And, that's where it really tears at me and Rob about having a child with a sick (or struggling) Mom. Also, we discussed the possibility of birth defects (amnio testing) and premature delivery.

You know.....it puts such a different perspective when you realize that it's not just about "wanting a baby".....but that BABY depends on every decision you make. Guess the reality of being parents is already hitting us. We would truly hate to bring a very sick baby into the world just because we wanted to know what it felt like to be parents!

I'm sorry to ramble......there are just so many unknowns. He did tell us that there is a 30-40% chance that everything will be just fine WITHOUT anything going wrong. But, we have alot of factors against us.

I have to ask each of you......what would you do?????? I feel great....have lost 25 pounds......and I feel like we should try at least once. I think I would regret looking back and not knowing.

[mikeyandBellesmommy]

carla in your situation I think I personally would go for it, you ahve a wonderful husband and you seem to want a baby so bad and well I know I would hate to "not know" for the rest of my life if I could do it..

I did it with Mikey, I had TONS of factors against me, Gestational diabetes, my heart, rapid heart rate, and then high bp at the end, he was born at 36 weeks, he needed to be on oxygen for a week and then he came home..he is now a perfect 11 month old and even if he wasn't perfect he'd still be mine and wonderful and I'd love him jsut as much..

I left it in Gods hands, I feel MIkey was meant to be and now he is here with me and he makes my life more complete..

It is a hard decision and I know you will make the right one for your family..

as odd as this might sound coming from me, I really think it is in Gods hands, if it is meant to be it will be and if not it will not.. I really think that is why some girls on here have accidentally gotten pregnant and then miscarried, I think God knew.. I think that is why some have gone on and had great pregnancies, why some maybe can't get pregnant and so on..

I know in my heart MIkey was supposed to be here, he was unplanned I got pregnant when I shouldn't have, I was on BC and it was over a week past ovulation..etc.. etc.. he is my miracle..

XOXO

[SarahsMom]

Carla,

Yuck-y (5) years off your heart's life???? Is that a stat for all of us PPCM'ers? Is that just women in general? I knew pregnacy was tough on a women's body...but, for pete's sake!!!! That's a tough one Carla....If it were me....I'd probaby go for it and be watched like a hawk and if there were any problems with the baby or myself I would have to make the "tough" decision of termination because...like you said, to bring a sick child into this world is not the easiest / best life for a human being. I don't think you should risk your life either if things turned out to be dangerous to you during the course of the pregnany...it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into this world without a mother and that would be REALLY tough on your hubby! Like you said, the OB brought so many facets to the decision that you've never even thought about!

I know what ever you decide....you'll make the best of it and be happy...you just seem like that type of person!

We're here for you regardless of what you decide.

Love,
Kari

(PS - This is just MY opinion and it's based on how strongly I feel that you've expressed how much you want to be a MOMMY)

I also wanted to add that I've spoken with women that have been unable to have children of their own and they end up adopting...when I ask them how they feel about adoption and not being their child'snatural mother; they say, "You know, I'm so happy that I couldn't have my own child because I would have never had the priviledge of being a mother to Jacob." This is the response from EVERY mother that has adopted....just something to keep on the back burner.....EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

[Lisa V]

Carla,
I have been in your shoes, maybe just a different situation but my husband and I decided to go with the odds and take our chances. There are no guarantees in life and our desire and determination to have children were so high that we had go for it. Knowing my situation and yours ,I think I would go for it, I dont think that God would have given you the odds of 30% to 40% if it was going too turn out bad. Our odds with PPCM were even lower and look at all the woman who have gone on to have more children. In the long run I think it will always be in the back of your mind that you never gave it a chance and maybe what if. You have to at least try and see what happens from there. When I got pregnant with Julia and there was a 10% chance of her having a major heart defect I prayed alot and just wished for the best. If she did have a major heart defect we would deal with it and love her just the same........It sounds as if you and your husband would make wonderful parents and no matter what your decision is we are behind you 100%. The only true people to decide are you and your hubby. Dont forget that there is always adoption, and that child would be choosen from you which is very special. Okay, I am going to stop talking now but I just hope that you get how I feel. Please let us know your decision when you have finally decided.

[NursCEO]

From knowing and working with Dr Berry, I would go for it and plan on doing so myself, using him of course!! I have said it before, but I have complete trust in his abilities and I have seen first hand the great work he does with very sick mommies!!

Thinking about you!!
Carrie


Hey, I know it is short notice, but we are going to be home all weekend and would love to get together and meet. Give us a call sometime :)

[Natasha]

Carla,
I don't have any advice for you, but want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You have been working so hard for this. You really are going into this with all necessary information. I am sure that you will make the decision that is right for you and your family. It's a very difficult situation. Good luck! We'll support you no matter what you decide is best!

[momofthree]

Hey Carla,

Well, again it must be said, whatever you decide I am praying all the way. I have two natural birth children and one adopted who is our middle child. He is so great and truly it is no different to us. He is our boy and nothing could ever change that. He is Japanese by the way. That truly is an amazing option and we feel so blessed to be his mom and dad.

Whatever you two decide, I pray for the very best God has. Alison

[SerenaWelsh]

Good luck with whatever decision you do make.

When I was in the hospital and we had to decide what to do with our pregnancy, termination wasn't an option we would consider. It was one given to us, but it made no sense. Ultimately, we realized that no matter what we did, our daughter could be adversely affected by anything we tried.
If I continued the pregnancy, I could die and they would have to take her by emergency Csection, and *hopefully* do it fast enough that she would be ok. Delivering her early brought the risk of all the horrible things that can happen with premature babies.
It helped us to decide when we realized that even under the best of circumstances, you never ever have a guarantee of having a healthy child. You can be healthy, have the perfect diet, best doctors, and easiest pregnancy and still end up with a child who is not *ok.* Ultimately, that is something that is out of our hands alltogether.
Of course I'm not saying go get pregnant then start using crack - Just realize that it's not like you EVER have the choice to have a perfectly healthy child. And I do believe that God - or the universe - or whatever it is that is superior to us - will NEVER give us more than we were meant to have or more than we can handle. You're a strong lady, and you're already so far ahead of the curve just because you've educated yourself on your options!