Adoption

[LSmith]

Okay.....I'm still riding the fence about another pregnancy after my experience last year. I love my son so much and I am amazed every time I see his smile and I know I am so lucky to be a part of his life and I don't want to cheat him of his mother by taking an unnecessary risk. I want him to have a brother or sister however. Surrogacy is so expensive!! I've read that some of you have chosen to adopt. How does one even begin the process?:confused:

Thanks!

Leslie
Mom to Murphy (5/19/05)
Dx (5/24/05) EF 45%
Now - over 60%

[SerenaWelsh]

A great way to begin the process is to do your research locally and find a reputable agency. A good one will have seminars and offer enough information to overwhelm you.
Adoption can be expensive, too. You may find yourself wondering if you're going through the expense, why not just look at surrogacy? The answer to that question can be found here, on this forum, and under the doctor's and nurses information forum. PPCM has been reported to have happened in a surrogate mother who was using the egg of a woman who had PPCM with a previous pregnancy. It looks suspiciously as if the PPCM was passed from one woman to another through her egg.
We considered adoption, but my health is a deal breaker. That's to be considered if you want to adopt internationally - some countries will exclude you due to medical history...

Dawn is a great person to speak with...

[carrob]

Hi Leslie,

Our first step was to attend an orientation seminar, which we did back in March. Our local attorney referred us to a reputable agency that a colleague of his had adopted through. I will warn you......it was VERY emotionally overwhelming for me (and Robert too!). But, of course, this was the first time in the last 2 years that ANYONE has told me I can be a Mom.......

We are/were looking into domestic adoption and my cardiologist has cleared me. The agency did require a letter from him for our file....so if the birth mother had any concerns, she could see it.

As you noticed......I just said "were" looking into it. The "ton" of paperwork is now in the bottom of our closet and it's the one thing that Robert and I have "major" fights about. In fact, I tried bringing it up again last night....and I just ended up in tears. I'm ready....he's not....and will probably never be. But, he won't throw the damn stuff away and I keep being "hopeful" that he'll change his mind!:confused:

Our take on surrogacy was that there's no "guarantee" that you'll spend all of that money and it will be a successful pregnancy. At least with adoption, if you can stand strong and be patient, you'll end up with a child.

Please feel free to ask me anything about the seminar.......it was very informative! And, I'll be praying for a resolution for you!

[agm324]

We are in the same boat...trying to decide. We went on the net and requested info from many different places. I also asked around..one of my student's parents' just adopted a child from China. They used America World Adoption. They loved the experience and the child is just beautiful and adjusted. I also spoke to a coworker that adopted. She put the word out that they wanted to adopt. She knew several people that worked at hospitals around town. They went through several failed adoptions, but then they got the call. There was a woman who didn't want the baby and so a nurse called my friend up and ask her if she wanted the baby. You see, sometimes women have babies at hospitals and don't want them.. so they leave them.. for the state to get custody of. So, my friend got a lawyer and took care of all the paperwork. She went to the hospital before the mother was discharged and picked up the baby.. no agency.. no fees.. just attorney fees.. about 3 grand. I am a little scared of this method. She had several failed attempts and I am not sure I could do that..but they ended up with the baby God intended them to have. Anway.. don't feel alone.. we are in the same boat and can't decide. I am meeting with a maternal fetal committee Monday.. we will see what they say!

Good luck with your journey.. everything will work out.

Alana

[LSmith]

Thanks for the information. It's looking more like adoption is the way we will grow our family of three. I spoke to my cousin this morning. He's a cardiologist and he spoke with several of his colleagues about me having another baby. He said they all said the same thing. Not only should I not get pregnant on purpose but that I should use 2 forms of birth control. I don't know why I asked him, I knew he would say that. And when I said that there seem to be many women that have had successful pregnancies after diagnosis he said that was the exception rather than the rule and that the chance of me getting sicker than the first time was greater.

Alana, good luck with your appointment. Please please let me know what the committee says.

Thanks!
Leslie

[tabs]

Thanks for the information. It's looking more like adoption is the way we will grow our family of three. I spoke to my cousin this morning. He's a cardiologist and he spoke with several of his colleagues about me having another baby. He said they all said the same thing. Not only should I not get pregnant on purpose but that I should use 2 forms of birth control. I don't know why I asked him, I knew he would say that. And when I said that there seem to be many women that have had successful pregnancies after diagnosis he said that was the exception rather than the rule and that the chance of me getting sicker than the first time was greater.


Thanks!
Leslie

Leslie

Your cousin and his collegues may not be familiar with the latest research in this area. Dr. Fett has a wonderful algorhythm that shows in a recovered woman (EF 50% or higher) has only a 10% chance of reoccurance. It can be found on the main A Mother's Heart website.

Twilah

[SusanD]

Two thoughts here:

If we add to our family, adoption will be the way we go as well. We will probably foster and then adopt one of those babies. The whole open adoption scene that is being pushed so heavily on the local scene just didn't sit right with me. We've done the whole infertility/IVF scene and I just don't think I could wade through surrogacy knowing that whole roller coaster was in front of me (although I realize adoption is it's own roller coaster.)

Subsequent pregnancies: Everyone here who knows me from "way back" (I'm a 7 year survivor almost !) knows that I used to be VERY adamant against no subsequent pregnancies. Over the years, with the addition of beta blockers and ACE's to the treatment regimen, we are seeing PPCM women doing better than ever. I have watched many of these women have subsequent PG's that went off without a hitch. I have now changed my stance and have been able to see that with a recovered EF and all the factors mentioned by Dr.Fett PLUS a well-educated mother, husband and family, the odds are much better. Being informed, knowledgeable and having a good support system and back-up plan goes a long way. If you have no disability insurance, no health insurance and no financial stability and no help if something goes wrong and would totally freak out if your baby were to end up in the NICU, then you should seriously NOT consider another pregnancy. With careful thought, consideration and a healthcare team (i.e. perinatologist, cardiologist who is on board with your plans) and every option explored, then I think it is definitely a viable option.

If I were younger and I knew we wouldn't have to do IVF/ICSI and I didn't have to worry about heparin shots and diabetes, I would seriously be on the list with you guys and considering the same options.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do !

[LSmith]

Okay.......I called an adoption agency today and they are going to send me some information. I'm nervous and excited!! My husband is very supportive and excited as well. I'll keep you all posted on my journey. I am at peace with my decision not to have another child. But I am so excited for all of you that are pregnant right now. Please keep us posted!

Leslie
Dx - 5/05 EF 45%
Now - over 60%