I think DH wants another baby

[ChristiJ]

While we've talked about it, he's always said one was fine. We even felt one was fine before we had our daugther and the PPCM issues. It's on my mind a lot. Sometimes I think I want another. Sometimes I think I just want a do over, one I can enjoy. A normal pregnancy, recovery and a baby who didn't have colic and reflux and scream for five months solid. I don't know which it really is.

Last night we watched some home videos. We tape but have never watched a thing. We watched from the time Bella was born to about 15 months. Everytime I looked over my husband was in tears. He made some comments about never having that experience again. It's the first time I've really felt like he does want another one. He's usually the first one to say "no way, not worth the risk".

We have such a high energy "active alert" child (my new term for her personality, greatest book I've found). I seriously don't know how I'd manage with two. :confused: Sometimes I think I was given the girl I wanted and she's so full of personality because I was meant to just have her.

I guess it's something we need to talk about. I have found a high risk OB practice that has PPCM experience. I've talked to them by email and they suggested I get my records together and come in for them to go over everything. I suppose that's the first thing I should do before even thinking any further.

Off the topic but from the video - I knew when we left the hospital I was horribly swollen and in terrible condition. When I saw myself on video I was horrified. How ANYONE discharged me I do not know. Swollen has a different look than having extra weight on you, and I looked like I was going to explode. The camera went to my feet at one point and they were insane. It was just a shock to see how bad I looked. I'm surprised I made it 20 hours before going back to the hospital.

Thanks for letting me vent and ramble. :)

[miracle baby]

I wish you luck on making the decision thats best for your family.

[melissamph]

Praying for wisdom in your BIG decision for the family! How exciting!

[Mindyt]

It is so hard isn't it? I feel many of the same feelings that you do. I also was diagnosed after the birth of my first child and don't know whether or not we will have another. My husband always said he wanted "just one" but now he has said that he would like to have one more. However, he would never pressure me to have another if it risked my health....he just said that if it works out that way, he would be fine with that. He would also be fine with one child too. I also wonder how I would handle having two kids right now. Yikes. I have enough trouble chasing after my active 2-year old right now! I hope you are able to make the decision that is best for you. I have another echo in a couple of weeks and then I may have another visit to the perinatologist to see what she says. I try not to stress about it too much. My best friend has a fussy 2-month old right now and she never sleeps. Her daughter is beautiful but it is so hard to go back to those early infant days. I don't know how I would do it all over again.